I recently read “The Road,” by Cormac McCarthy and although it was redonkulously bleak, it affirmed my belief that everyone should know how to, at the very least, bake a Madeleine.

The Madeleine is to baking what a steak is to the cooking world. If you know how to bake a Madeleine and a steak, you can probably survive the zombie/robot/alien/nuclear apocalypse.

The Madeleine is simple, yet infinitely complex depending on the preparation and execution. First, disregard the name. A Madeline is nothing more than a buttery, cake cookie. From Wikipedia, “Madeleines are very small sponge cakes with a distinctive shell-like shape acquired from being baked in pans with shell-shaped depressions. Aside from the traditional molded pan, commonly found in stores specialising in kitchen equipment and even hardware stores, no special tools are required to make madeleines.”

I imagine ingredients will be scarce in whatever apocalypse occurs. However, the Madeleine can be made with four simple and easy to find ingredients: flour, butter, eggs and sugar/honey. The only specialty item you need is a Madeline pan, which can likely be looted in the event of the apocalypse.  I also imagine that raiders or post-apocalyptic n'er do wells would invite anyone into their clan if they had a fresh batch of Madeleines.

How to bake Madeleines in the event of an apocalyptic disaster:

Before disaster

1. Buy a solar powered oven. About $230 on Amazon. Good to be prepared.

After said disaster

1. Raid a specialty baking store or even the home department of your QFC for a Madeline pan. (Do not raid store if apocalypse has not yet occurred)
2. While at the store in #2, get some flour, sugar or honey. Best not to get eggs or butter, probably rancid.
3. Go to a farm and get some fresh eggs and churn your own butter.
4. Bake Madelines:

a)      Preheat oven to 350°F.

b)      Butter each Madeleine mold in pan and dust with flour, tapping out excess.

c)       Melt 9 tablespoons unsalted butter

d)      Cook until butter turns golden brown, stirring often, 3 to 4 minutes. Set browned butter aside.

e)      Beat egg whites, sugar and all purpose flour in medium bowl until mixture is blended and smooth

f)       Add browned butter; beat to blend. Spoon 1 tablespoon batter into each prepared Madeleine mold.

g)      Bake Madeleines until tops are just dry and tester inserted into center comes out clean, about 12 minutes. Cool 5 minutes. Gently tap Madeleines out of molds.

Like that, you’ve learned how to turn an innate, (mostly) inedible set of ingredients into my favorite baked goods and survive whichever post-apocalypse environment that you are in. This is the quickest and easiest cookie on the planet. 20 minutes start to finish and you can be the head pastry chef with any post-apocalyptic gang you want.

Yesterday, Oddfellows Cafe on Capitol Hill held the first annual "Whoopie Pie Bake Off." Yours truly was one of the lucky few vying for top prize of Whoopie Pie Champion. A whoopie pie (alternatively called a gob, black-and-white, bob, or "BFO" for Big Fat Oreo) is a baked good made of two round mound-shaped pieces of chocolate cake, sometimes pumpkin cake, with a sweet, creamy frosting sandwiched between them. The rules: bake an original, classic whoopie and bake your own rendition.

My first attempt was an epic failure. Tried to make Devonshire cream, but ended up with something resembling thin vanilla yogurt. I tested my second attempt at a classic whoopie pies on the staff here at Porter Novelli. Confident in my whoopie pie skillz I was ready for the big day.

My personal conception of the whoopie pie was comprised of white chocolate cake with a raspberry, marshmallow fluff and lil' bit of homemade raspberry jam dusted with cocoa powder.

The competition began at 11 am. The judges: the Long Winter's John Roderick, Chamber of Commerce head Michael Wells, ice cream entrepreneur Molly Moon, the Stranger's Christopher Frizzelle, Chelsea Lin of Seattle CitySearch and the community attendees. The challengers: 11 other amateur and professional bakers from the corners of Seattle. 24 different pies with 144 pies total. Gone by noon.

The results. I lost to a 7 year old girl, though her pie was super delicious. The little girl an d Audrey McManus tied for "Best Classic Whoopie Pie." "Best Overall" and "Most Interesting" went to Heather Earnhardt of Volunteer Park Cafe.

It is hard to get upset over losing a baking competition and I can honestly say it was a lot of fun. From the Slog, "[to] the baker who put raspberry jam in the filling. It was the perfect summer touch." Thanks Chris Frizzelle. In the words of Tugg Speedman, "It was an honor just to be nominated."