Baking Cookies in a Post-Apocalyptical Wasteland

I recently read “The Road,” by Cormac McCarthy and although it was redonkulously bleak, it affirmed my belief that everyone should know how to, at the very least, bake a Madeleine.

The Madeleine is to baking what a steak is to the cooking world. If you know how to bake a Madeleine and a steak, you can probably survive the zombie/robot/alien/nuclear apocalypse.

The Madeleine is simple, yet infinitely complex depending on the preparation and execution. First, disregard the name. A Madeline is nothing more than a buttery, cake cookie. From Wikipedia, “Madeleines are very small sponge cakes with a distinctive shell-like shape acquired from being baked in pans with shell-shaped depressions. Aside from the traditional molded pan, commonly found in stores specialising in kitchen equipment and even hardware stores, no special tools are required to make madeleines.”

I imagine ingredients will be scarce in whatever apocalypse occurs. However, the Madeleine can be made with four simple and easy to find ingredients: flour, butter, eggs and sugar/honey. The only specialty item you need is a Madeline pan, which can likely be looted in the event of the apocalypse.  I also imagine that raiders or post-apocalyptic n'er do wells would invite anyone into their clan if they had a fresh batch of Madeleines.

How to bake Madeleines in the event of an apocalyptic disaster:

Before disaster

1. Buy a solar powered oven. About $230 on Amazon. Good to be prepared.

After said disaster

1. Raid a specialty baking store or even the home department of your QFC for a Madeline pan. (Do not raid store if apocalypse has not yet occurred)
2. While at the store in #2, get some flour, sugar or honey. Best not to get eggs or butter, probably rancid.
3. Go to a farm and get some fresh eggs and churn your own butter.
4. Bake Madelines:

a)      Preheat oven to 350°F.

b)      Butter each Madeleine mold in pan and dust with flour, tapping out excess.

c)       Melt 9 tablespoons unsalted butter

d)      Cook until butter turns golden brown, stirring often, 3 to 4 minutes. Set browned butter aside.

e)      Beat egg whites, sugar and all purpose flour in medium bowl until mixture is blended and smooth

f)       Add browned butter; beat to blend. Spoon 1 tablespoon batter into each prepared Madeleine mold.

g)      Bake Madeleines until tops are just dry and tester inserted into center comes out clean, about 12 minutes. Cool 5 minutes. Gently tap Madeleines out of molds.

Like that, you’ve learned how to turn an innate, (mostly) inedible set of ingredients into my favorite baked goods and survive whichever post-apocalypse environment that you are in. This is the quickest and easiest cookie on the planet. 20 minutes start to finish and you can be the head pastry chef with any post-apocalyptic gang you want.

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